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Monday, October 20

Page history last edited by Jane Asher 9 years, 7 months ago


Writing Workshop II (Samples from Essay I)

WWII Handout



Final Draft of Essay II due (with all the required components)

  1. Final Draft (on top)
  2. Edited Rough Draft
  3. PRII document
  4. Signed Outline
  5. Signed Invention II assignment
  6. Rubric





1180 Essay I Samples for WWII



  1. We spent the whole summer together going fishing, camping, and going to concerts.



  1.  When I was five years old I remember crying a whole lot, never sitting still, and my speech and learning was impaired.



  1. I once remember someone telling me that they were not close with their grandparents.



  1. Just a casual summer day with nothing planned, the boredom was killing me.



  1. Initially I thought that we would be going to the small airport down the road but I was wrong, we were taking off from the small field behind the building.



  1. Looking around, there was so many people wearing blue and silver, but as for me, I was not wearing Lion’s colors and made me feel like I stood out a lot.



  1. My mom would leave me home at the age of six to care for my brothers and sister I learned to feed and change them at a very young age.



  1. Seeing my grandma lying in bed with a breathing mask on her face, wrist in restraints to keep from taking the mask off.



  1. I swam anxiously towards to two twins thinking there was an actually emergency.



  1. We slowly drove off, shaken from what just happened and the realization that we just got robbed by the police.



  1. But this also made him very upset, he threw harsh names at me, calling me lazy, that I needed to lose weight, him knowing that this hurt me he still signed me up to play.



  1. It all happened so fast, I forget that I was even participating in the race.




  1. Years ago while rummaging through a drawer of papers. A blue paper with red trim caught my eye.







Find a sentence in your narrative essay (preferably one that I did not fix) that is improperly punctuated (comma splice, incorrect semi-colon use, run on/fused sentence, missing comma in dependent/independent or compound construction, fragment, etc.) Write this sentence here (as it originally appears in your essay):






In the best possible way, revise this sentence, and rewrite it here:






Provide your rationale for the revision/explain the rule. Refer to your handbook if necessary.






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