Final Draft of Essay III due 

 Required Components:

• ·         Final Draft (on top)
• ·         Edited Rough Draft
• ·         PRIII document (blue)
• Self-Assessment document (pink) 
• ·         Signed Film Analysis Worksheet
• ·         Rubric (fill in your name and partner's name) (goldenrod)

 

 

 

 

Discuss “Don’t Blame the Eater” Arguing Your Position: 3 ways to respond Parallelism/Modifiers Continued: Part 10 unit 6 Worksheet Thesis challenge: Smartphones

Complete Parallelism Worksheet 24A (refer to Handbook pages 187-189 for review) Complete  "More Parallelism Practice" worksheet

 

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In "Don't Blame the Eater," what is Zinczenko's position argument?  (Who is to blame for America's obesity epidemic?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Position Paper/Argument Example:

 

 

 

"Don't Blame the Eater"

 

 

Presenting a position: "What do you think about X?"

 

 

 

What specific arguments is Zinczenko responding to?

 

 

How is he responding?--understanding the argument that you need to respond to/summarize effectively to avoid misrepresenting an author's argument.

 

 

 

 

 

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Analyzing the Context

 

1. Who is the author? How does this information affect our understanding of the essay?

Author: David Zinczenko

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/03/fashion/03davez.html?_r=1

 

2. Who is the Audience?

3. The larger conversation: connections to other works?--the cultural conversation

4. What motivated the publication of the essay?

NY Times, 2002

 

 

Fast Food Law Suit:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,58652,00.html

 

The Burger Bill:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4506670/ns/msnbc_tv-the_abrams_report/

 

 

Textual:

 

1. Summarize the argument

-the main claim, reasons for support

Strategies to support his position

-how is the essay arranged?--what are the components? why are they presented in this order?

examining the purpose of each paragraph

 

2. Supporting the argument--what appeals are used?

 

Logos (appealing to the readers' reasonableness)

Pathos (emotional appeal)

Ethos (the author's credentials, research, knowledge, personal experience)

 

3. Style

Is it formal, informal, satirical, etc.?

Tone

Language: Word Choice, Metaphors, Imagery

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3 Ways to Respond

 

 

When you think about it, all responses can be classified in to one of three modes:

 

Disagree

Agree

Agree and Disagree (combo)

 

 

 

1. Disagree

 

Example:

 

Position: We should blame fast food companies for America's obesity epidemic.

 

 

Your Thesis: Fast food companies are not to blame for America's obesity epidemic.

 

Does this work as a thesis? Why or Why not?

 

 

 

 

Disagree and explain WHY

 

Disagreeing means more than adding "not" to what someone else has said.

 

 

Such a response merely contradicts the view it responds to and fails to add anything interesting or new. To make an argument, you need to give reasons why you disagree: because another's argument fails to take relevant factors into account; because it is based on faulty or incomplete evidence; because it rests on questionable assumptions; or because it uses faulty logic, is contradictory, or overlooks what you take to be the real issue.

 

 

 

I disagree with X's view that (_________) because (_A, B, and C___________).

 

 

 

2. Agree but with a difference

 

You need to do more than just echo views you agree with. Even as you agree, it's important to bring something new and fresh to the table, adding something that makes you a valuable participant in the conversation.

 

Zinczenko's Argument: Multiple factors play a role in America's obesity epidemic.

 

Your thesis: Zinczenko's claim that multiple factors play a role in America's obesity epidemic is valid.

Does this work as a strong thesis? Why or why not?

 

 

 

Examples: (pg. 57)

I agree with Zinczenko's claim that multiple factors play a role in America's obesity epidemic because his argument acknowledges the complexity of the issue which is also demonstrated by the diverse cultural, social, and political initiatives to remedy this ongoing problem.

 

 

 

 

3. Agree and Disagree Simultaneously: Arguments are rarely one-sided

 

The "yes and no" approach

Yes, but...

this type of response helps us to get beyond the yes/no or right/wrong mentality that often characterize unsophisticated arguments

 

 

IE: Although X makes the valid point that ( ), X's argument about ( ) is less convincing because of A and B. (pg. 60)

 

Although Zinczenko makes a valid point that we are all responsible for America's obesity epidemic, his suggestion that fast food companies need to better warn and educate their consumers is misguided because such measures, as we have seen, do little to deter individuals from eating fast food.

 

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Your secret to a strong position essay: a strong Thesis Statement

 

Handbook Chapter 3

 

 

Remember, a strong claim is direct, concise, clear, and provocative (though not intentionally outlandish or extreme).

You should stake a clear and specific position—the thesis is no place to be vague and indecisive!

An effective thesis strives to generate discussion about a certain aspect of your topic.

 

In other words, your claim should be contestable, open to reasoned argument and debate. Ideally, your thesis should focus on one main idea. If you have lots of good ideas on the subject but are writing a short paper, choose what you think is the strongest or most important argument and make it your thesis.

 

 

Evaluating your claim

As you draft your working claim, evaluate its efficacy. A strong claim (thesis) will be:

 

Contestable: Intentionally writing a claim that someone can disagree with may seem counterintuitive, but consider that if no one could possibly disagree with what you’re arguing, there’s little point in writing about it. Being able to acknowledge and refute counterarguments will strengthen your claim, not weaken it.

 

 

Reasonable:

While you want your claim to be contestable, you also want it to be reasonable. A claim can be radical, in the context of current dialogue on your topic, and still be reasonable if you have sufficient evidence to support it. Readers will recognize the difference between thoughtful, critical interpretations of evidence and contortions that twist evidence around to support an unreasonable claim.

 

Specific:

Broad claims are more difficult to support effectively than focused claims. Specific claims also tend to provide readers with more useful information than broad claims.

 

 

Significant:

Consider the context of the course for which you are writing your paper. Is your claim adding anything meaningful to the current dialogue surrounding your topic? Note that as you become more familiar with the concerns of a given topic or discipline, you will be able to contribute more significantly to the discussion.

 

Interpretive:

Does your claim offer an interpretation of evidence or does it simply describe a situation?

 

• A good thesis outlines the rest of the essay
• I'm a big fan of what I call the roadmap method of thesis statements. A good thesis not only states your position, but calls attention to the structure, or at least the big, structural ideas, you're going to use to support your thesis. These ideas should come, if not in the thesis statement (and let's face it, with compound and complex sentences at your disposal, there is little reason why they should not) then as physically near to it as you can make it. These ideas should also be in the order in which you plan to present them in the essay. Always check your thesis statement after completing an essay to make sure that your paragraph order matches your roadmap. Sometimes things change while your writing. Make sure your opening reflects those changes.

 

Carefully worded

Because it communicates your paper's main idea, your thesis statement should be clearly and accurately worded. It should be direct and straightforward. Avoid using vague, wordy phrases. Also, avoid using phrases like "I believe," "It seems," "personally."

 

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A good thesis is elegant and maintains parallelism.

 

 

 

Parallelism in thesis statements:

pg. 187-189 in Handbook

 

 

• Parallelism is the act of making sentence structures parallel, or grammatically even. It is when you give structures in sentences the same grammatic slope. Not every sentence need to maintain perfect parallelism, but your thesis statement should strive for as perfect a parallelism as you can muster. Remember: when in doubt, break your sentence into several sentences and look at the structures.
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Parallelism Practice

Not Parallel

My English conversation class is made up of Chinese, Spaniards, and some are from Bosnia.

The students who do well attend class, they do their homework, and practice speaking in English.

The language skills of the students in the evening classes are the same as the day classes.

Parallel

My English conversation class is made up of Chinese, Spaniards, and Bosnians. (The items are all nouns.)

The students who do well attend class, do their homework, and practice speaking in English. (The items are all verbs+complements.)

The teacher wanted to know which country we came from and what our future goals were. (The items are both noun clauses.)

The language skills of the students in the evening classes are the same as the language skills of the students in the day classes. (The items are both noun phrases.)   Practice:

Parallelism/Modifiers Continued: Part 10 unit 6 Worksheet

 

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THESIS CHALLENGE

 

Now, you try...

 

 

Most Americans would agree that there is no reason why people should resist other dominant forms of technology, especially the smartphone.

 

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• Despite the overwhelming popularity of smartphones, there are still Americans (approximately 30% of cell phone users) who own dumb phones (talk and text only).
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• Nearly half of those dumbphone users have incomes under $49,000 a year, suggesting the choice had to do more with economics than preference.
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• For some Americans though, the dumbphone may be a matter of preference. These dumbphone owners are holdouts who resist on principle.

 

 

Consider the following position that Scott Johnson writes in "Why I Resist," an article published in Technology World in 2014:

 

"I have consciously opted out of the connected culture of the smartphone for a variety of reasons. Individuals who have smartphones miss out on a lot of adventure, waste a lot of time, and are plagued with more stress. Dumbphones allow individuals to be more productive and more thoughtful about how they spend their time. They also allow people to be "present"--to be entirely focused on and engaged with the real world instead of the screen."

 

 

 

Practice Prompt:

In "Why I Resist," an article published in Technology World in 2014, Scott Johnson writes,

"I have consciously opted out of the connected culture of the smartphone for a variety of reasons. Individuals who have smartphones miss out on a lot of adventure, waste a lot of time, and are plagued with more stress. Dumbphones allow individuals to be more productive and more thoughtful about how they spend their time. They also allow people to be "present"--to be entirely focused on and engaged with the real world instead of the screen."

 

 

Step One: Brainstorm and analyze the position

 

What do you agree with?

Ways to think about how you agree:

 

Can you point out some  evidence or line of reasoning that supports Johnson's claim? (something that Johnson didn't mention)

Can you identify some corroborating personal experience or a situation not mentioned by Johnson that her argument helps readers understand?

Can you build on Johnson's argument by explaining something that needs to be better understood?

What can you add to this conversation?

 

 

 

What do you disagree with?

Ways to think about how you disagree:

 

Does Johnson fail to take any relevant factors into account?

Is any part of his argument based on faulty or incomplete evidence?

Does any portion of his argument rest on questionable assumptions?

Does he use flawed logic?

Does he overlook what you take to be the real issue? 

 

 

 

 

Create a well-developed thesis statement that states your position on this issue and responds to Johnson's claims. Use one of the 3 ways to respond. Compose a thesis statement that would serve as a road map for a short (approx. 2 page) position essay.

 

Make sure your thesis is  

• contestable
• specific
• reasonable
• interpretive
• significant 

 

Make sure your thesis is a solid sentence or two

 

Make sure your thesis adheres to the rules of parallelism

 

Include the name of all your group members on your thesis.

 

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Templates for Disagreeing

 

X is mistaken because he overlooks ____________ and ____________ . By doing so, X fails to explore ___________, which is important because of __________. 

 

X's claim that ____________ rests upon the questionable assumption that ______________. Therefore......__________________.

 

I disagree with X's view that ______________________ because ____________, ____________, and ________________.

 

By focusing on _____________, X overlooks the deeper problem of ___________ and ________________. Therefore, __________________________.

 

 

Templates for Agreeing

X's argument that __________________ is extremely useful because it sheds insight on ______________ and ________________.

 

I agree with X when she argues ______________ because ______________, ______________, and _________________.

 

I agree with X's idea that _______________. It is a point that needs emphasizing because of ____________ and __________________.

 

 

Templates for Agreeing and Disagreeing Simultaneously

 

Although I agree with X's point about _____________ because ___________, I cannot accept his overall conclusion that ________________ because __________________.

 

Although I disagree with with X's point about ____________ because ______________, his overall argument is valid because _______________ and ____________________.

 

X is effective in arguing _____________ in the way that she _______________; however, X fails to examine ____________ and ________________. In doing so, she ___________________.

 

Although X makes a strong claim in pointing out that _______________, his argument about __________________ is less convincing because of _________________. Furthermore, he fails to explore how _____________________.